A/N: This is a re-post from my old account. I love haikus, and somehow, I just couldn't leave this behind. Also, I want to use up all my points before they reset. Feedback will be more than appreciated. Thank you!
Sakura Mankai
[Cherry Blossoms In Full Bloom]
The cherry blossoms
Trembled gracefully amongst
The rich, peachy leaves.
The fluttering petals
Of myriad chrysanthemums
Rippled calm waters.
Cool, tranquil rivers
Flowed vigorously within
Blossom laden fields.
All melted away
Within whispers of malice
And ruthlessness of deed
Evanescent thoughts
And fleeting wisps of colour
Swiftly faded away.
The tattered bosom
Of our dearest Mother Earth
Heaves; full of sorrow.
A solitary drop
Of a sinner's frozen tear
Seals his errant eyes
The world faced it's end
Through man's errors and madness;
Wicked and mournful...
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
If you're wondering why no one has posted to this, it's because it's absolutely stunning. Haikus, in my opinion, are hard to work with because they're too short for me (a person who likes rambling) to actually put my full force of emotion and description into the words. You however, have done this beautifully. Absolute beautiful imagery, and feeling.
All my kudos to you for managing that with haikus. I have no critique for this, other than you might not want to have "..." at the very end. Makes me think there should be more, and it also makes the powerful statement not seem like a powerful statement. If that makes sense.
Keep writing!
.Doctor